DRAMA HO !!

Indian Tele serials have always been accused of " over dramatizing situations". Reality shows too with their various walk outs too have been accused of being staged. Now I am not an avid serial watcher.. but reality shows and their so called unrealistic content manage to catch my eye. Before moving ahead I must make a clarification, reality shows for me are quizzes,music and dance.. any connection to a certain Ms. Sawanth is purely coincidental!!

I was watching another episode of the very " originally " titled DPL.. Dance premier league.. ( IPL AND ICL watch out.. !! ). The show ended with its first elimination in the show. What followed was the staple diet of every reality show.. tears , walking out and disagreement...!!

Suddenly the whole contingency of girls( the number of girls and the noise they were making had made our hostel recreation hall a mini "cricket stadium".. no pun in tented) moved out...It's drama they said..including a friend of mine...

DRAMA..ya I know.. but still isn't life full of drama.. we talk of tears, nervous banters, on stage prayers , back biting, scheming women ( oh God I know so many myself... !!), love affairs, attractions. Everyday, don't you and I experience all this . Look around.. a group of girls scheming against another or one unsuspecting victim, infatuations and crushes on every ones mind, fights and tears. Why even walkouts.. I remember an English teacher in my school actually walked out of our class... Impossible she said and even threatened not to come back. One teacher had got upset when a few students had started singing Happy birthday for her when she was giving back the left behind money ...apparently she had some bad memories with her birthday and thus never celebrated it.. I actually remember seeing her control her tears( teachers shouldn't cry right !! )

Emotions.. such as one of a father for his son or daughter can't be faked .. its like I remember my dad actually had a glow on his face and moist eyes as he read a few articles that had my byline... Imagine !! That's not fake .. the emotions were real. Competition makes people do the most unexpected things.. friendships are made and broken.. look around in schools and colleges and even in Homes and offices, competition in some form or the other is rampant and so is the desire to win..

And then you say reality shows are fake.. just because they are in front of ur eyes..come once or twice a week... you tend to scrutinize them.. but look around.. " life is the biggest reality show" and so as days pass.. more "eliminations, controversies and walk outs " shall mark our life.. its time we open our eyes and ears.. see and listen.. So, I shouldn't complain that these reality shows don't come on weekdays.. I have enough reality around me.. LIGHTS CAMERA ACTION ;))

IMAGE SOURCES - INTERNET

Child prodegy or ... adult eccentricity !!!

http://www.deccanchronicle.com/tabloids/parents-push-kids-become-prodigies-780

Was appalled at reading this article...8 year old kids driving a car.. very soon u just might find the first ever kid to go to space at the age of 3 .. or maybe even less.. We all keep on saying that children today are much more mature than their age but this is the limit.. seriously...!! All I can say is.. Thank god my parents were not like that and in quite an ironical stance.. I am thrilled to be an adult .. !!!

In p "lane" language

Ok..so this is no high ended review of my party or restaurant travails...relishing exotic cultures and meeting people..but this is my life. It is like a lane ..to be precise.. like the lane right next to college...As I had referred to in the earlier blog...staying in the college hostel hasn't been the very thrilling aspect of my life but yes..whether you would believe it or not...there are some places and moments which bring in the aspect of memories to my not so thrilling 1 1/2 years...

Now I am not referring to a visit to the forum..although if you want to find me or many of our hostelites ..walking into forum wouldn't be a bad idea. As a friend of mine always jokes..." ya..it's our mummy's place na"!!

Still didn't get the hint...well its the very cool, active and lively....S.G.PALYA.. ;)) Sada gunta Palya to be precise ( please excuse me for the spelling !!). Although it is a complaint that I and many often make about not getting food in the hostel..I should be grateful..coz if there would have been food I wouldn't have discovered this lane right next to college. Now its not a commercial area but every Hungry souls paradise...( at least I think so). And honestly speaking like the many stories I hear about the area..It initially gave me the creeps but believe it or not..I have actually started to "Like".."Love"is too strong a word :)

Every evening me and my friends ( the 3 explorers..as I would like to call us) leave hostel in search of a food. questions ...discussions and fights later we decide on our destination...from food to juice at prices which would make my pocket jump in joy ;) ... a filling meal later we are ready to return back to hostel to face our assignments and of course..our beds.. for a good nights sleep !!

It might seem funny to many that someone would write something about that area..but honestly when I am there I am not in Bangalore.. with its weird and creepy atmosphere..topped with the smell of food...I have softened towards this area...

You again might be wondering what exactly was running in my mind when I decided to post this..well honestly speaking nothing...I am just back from another MEAL and on the way back suddenly felt like writing something about it..at absolute
random...well that's life..In all it's weirdness...!!!



Image source2 : Internet
Image source 1 : Personal ( ofcourse with a little corel draw to it..;))

An intellectual bend

" You should have an opinion..a final semester masters student..that to one who aspires to take up journalism as a career..and when asked to make a blog all you write about is books, chocolates and friendships gone sour !!". These were the thoughts running in my mind last night as I was reading the blogs of my other classmates.

I was in awe as I read the posts and was wondering..why can't I write like that. They are topical yet honest and personal.And of course not to forget, amazing language. Then we have some great poets I realised..Four to five lines wrapped in emotions. So, I thought I should also write something like those for this post.

As I was walking down from College to my Hostel today ( what an Irony..people go home after college..my "home" is in college !!- the sad story of staying at a college hostel..!) I thought of a few lines..

" The writer in me stands to say
are my thoughts not writing
are they not language, emotion and all
what am I , Screamed the letters on my paper
are my emotions not there for you to see..."

When I suddenly tripped and broke my bubble..what was I thinking..it doesn't make sense...ok..So no Poetry I realised. Let's do something topical I thought..maybe something about terrorism, after all its the first anniversary of the 26/11 attacks..So, I opened my Laptop and started typing..

" As a year goes by people have sat down to understand the attacks which shook the country..what happened and why..how have things changed over the years. Everyday we have many new ...."

Oh God...I am having a writers block...I guess all this requires a bit of a higher level of intellect !What about a social issue I thought..wait..I shouldn't even attempt to talk about something I have absolutely no awareness about...


I guess , this attempt is quite futile..I guess writing casual personal tales is more me..and as for the intellect ...there are millions who write about that..but I am the only person writing about- ME ! How original ( and also how self centred )can someone be ..) !!!;)

{ Image source : The Internet}

Million dreams and a prayer...

Dream ..is what ex.President APJ Abdul Kalam always spoke about. He wanted us students to dream about much more than we had ever imagined. It's what we all do...I have dreams and a desire to fulfil them..What would I need to fulfill them.. the desire, support and a silent prayer....





The Student’s Prayer

Don’t impose on me what you know,

I want to explore the unknown

And be the source of my own discoveries.

Let the known be my liberation, not my slavery.

The world of your truth can be my limitation;

Your wisdom my negation.

Don’t instruct me; let’s walk together.

Let my richness begin where yours ends.

Show me so that I can stand

On your shoulders.

Reveal yourself so that I can be

Something different.

You believe that every human being

Can love and create.

I understand, then, your fear

When I ask you to live according to your wisdom.

You will not know who I am

By listening to yourself.

Don’t instruct me; let me be.

Your failure is that I be identical to you.”

- Umberto Maturana

{Image source : Internet}

Friendship in the times of "ME"

Friendship is the best thing you can have without having to worry about cost, looks and how you are ( I'm still carrying a hangover from my previous post)

..WAIT...before anyone starts commenting on how idealistic I am ..let me break you bubble..What is friendship?? Do you have an answer. Now not one of those..all supporting and caring lines..please!!I think SMS technology has gone overboard with it..

So what really is friendship...is there really something called friendship in today's world where all we can think of is " I, ME AND MYSELF". I'm sure many of you will now be raising your hands in despair or would be moving you mouse cursor towards the close button..after all who wants to listen to this self centred pessimist..

I guess I will never have any of those rosy thoughts about friendship...The word for me is a mix of joy and anger. The minute I have thought that I have finally found true friends who will always be with me ...the bubble breaks.." Oh God Anishaa, Please you should be happy we are talking to you", " Listen please don't come in the middle when I'm talking to my friends"...HELLO..wasn't I a friend , weren't they "our friends"...Over night I have seen so called friends suddenly " realise" that hey.." Anishaa..who anishaa". It's like they have suddenly appointed a PR personnel who has told them that " being with Anishaa is terrible for your Image..Please take immediate action"...Why ?? What did I do.."is being me wrong?"..I thought friendship was about that only..being with the person no matter how stormy the weather is...

Maybe this just applies to me..am I not friendworthy...Everytime...I have to go through this again and again...

But then with the negatives come some individuals who bring life back to normal..support me in good times and bad...scream at me but still care !! I fear calling them friends as I fear losing them...I'm sure these individuals know that I am referring to them..to all those great " supporters" who have brought back happiness to my rather distraught and broken life..all I can say is .." Thank you..I love you all "!! :)

I love this song...it's from me to all those who have been my best support system...I will always remember these " pal" !!

{Image source : Internet}

Tagged for life

(Image source : The internet)

I was just reading a blog post by a dear and equally confused friend . As she went on analysing her life and identity a thought crossed my mind...Why is so much importance given to the whole concept of creating or outlining your true identity?Why must we be carefully assessed and classified under specific tags(like these blog posts - retrospection, introspection)like the angel, the nerd, the sporty, the confused,grumpy, sleepy , bashful and so on..;)(Sorry got a bit carried away by Snow white and her seven dwarfs towards the end of the list !)

So, coming back to what I was saying - They say you can never be perfect, then how do they expect you to have a fixed identity ? We have heard of the yin and yan.. we all are like that- A little bit of this and a little bit of that. It's like a jigsaw puzzle..each characteristic comes together to make "you".

And then what exactly are the parameters for defining your "identity" and "personality"? Who defines these parameters?

I think that today identities are now more about what others assume you to be (whether its true or not).Like people seem to have categorised me as boring, nerdy and a total foodie..in short "inconsequential"! So, now people just assume that to be " Anishaa Kumar" without even understanding me..That's not me!!..there is more to me...to all of us ...but everyone fails to understand this..

It's high time we stop "creating" personalities and images..we all are human .. its time we accept that !

As for me..I have realised that there is not important or necessary to go around correcting people's views about you..but what matters is to be YOU..no matter how "mixed up" you may be..;)

" Chocolat et ma vie"

"O God !! You eat so many chocolates..you will fall ill..and so on"... There is no day when someone or the other makes it a point to tell me that.. After Books if there is one thing that you can associate me without even a second thought..then it is Chocolates..Milk chocolates,Regular ones, Dark chocolates, Caramel chocolates, Mint chocolates..Wow the thought of them itself is making me salivate..even though I am eating one just as I am writing this Blog Post.

Blanc, Brun, noir, ... J'adore le chocolat

Oops got a bit carried away ...somehow the French word " chocolat" makes them even more attractive...i love the sound..actually I love the language..

Now coming back to what I was saying ( I seem to be losing track very easily back to what I was saying...the amazing, sweet world of chocolates...Many have told me that when it comes to chocolates I somehow become like the little girl at the candy store.The smell, the look , the taste..wow !! ;)

OK, so too many chocolates is not good for your health- sugar, Fat and bad teeth !!But then there are studies that prove that dark chocolate is good for your heart..so see , all the chocolates I eat are for this purpose only..;)

On a serious note, for me chocolates could be called the best place where I can drown sorrows, rise and stand on my feet again...there are days when nothing in the world can bring a smile back to my face except for a bar of chocolate..

I remember as a kid, the Dairy Milk advertisement with the girl running onto the cricket field to celebrate the teams success ...eating a large bar of chocolate...the ad was my ultimate fantasy..well I at least did the chocolate part of it ( running onto the field ..I guess that's not too practical.) and the experience was sublime....




My parents almost shudder at the thought of buying chocolates and keeping them at home..It's my mom's favourite joke .." you leave a chocolate in the fridge and the next day all you can find is the empty wrappers"...Hello, don't look at me, Me and chocolates...No....:)

People tell me that I tend to go overboard with things I love..from movies to songs to food and chocolates.As a friend of mine states " you have a disease of repetitiveness" ..the Lay's tag line of no one can eat just one surely suits me !!

I'm sure many must be finding this post a total waste of time..but I must say, I think it's very effective and helpful...I am now refreshed and the desire to eat one more chocolate has risen...It;s time for me to go back to my room and search for some moments of melting ecstasy..

C'est ma vie et J'adore le chocolat !!!

{Image source : The internet}

And then she grew up...

(All images courtesy the web)

In my previous post I had spoken about books which have a special place in my childhood memories. This blog is a tribute to the books that I have fallen in love with as an "adult". As you grow so do your priorities. The innocence of childhood gets replaced by the desire to read something more intellectual and serious. I guess I to have entered that phase.From Beatrix Potter and Enid Blyton to John Grisham, Amartya Sen, Jhumpa Lahri etc.

I have always had a fascination for law and I must admit that if lawyers didn't have to study so much I would have chosen the profession over journalism..John Grisham's Legal tales have everything that I as a reader would love to spend hours engrossed in. I started reading Grisham due to "The King of Torts". For me it was and will always be the best book I have ever read.Each book managed to intrigue me to such an extend that I just can't keep the book down till I have finished reading it. All his Books that I have read like The Runaway Jury, The Brethren, The Rainmaker, The Pelican Brief etc have had a similar effect. If there was one book which I could say disappointed me , it was the Broker which I felt was just not John Grisham.

The Namesake and Unaccustomed earth by Jhumpa Lahiri have shown me how simple yet how classy books can be written.Both books highlight aspects such as culture with a strong emotional background. The Unaccustomed earth with its short stories is a delight to read.Kunal Basu's Japanese wife published in a book of the same title is also story which I enjoyed reading ( I am awaiting the movie based on the story being directed by Aparna Sen)

It's not that I always read Fiction. Amartya Sen's Argumentative Indian, 13 December , Black Friday by Hussein Zaidi , Bachi Karkaria's Erratica ( a collection of her published columns)have also been books I have found myself engrossed in.

The list could be endless, everyday you encounter new books and with them newer aspects to life. I have been away from reading since a very long time ( Thanks to my never ending course work)and really need to get back to it as they say life is your best teacher and for me these books constitute my life.....

Personal v/s Personal

When I started this blog, I thought I would write about things I love..nothing negative.. but then people simply don't call me the height of pessimism !! While writing the first post , I was wondering..what would I write ? A quick online search and I get a definition.. an online diary which I could share with the world. This made me think..could I really compare this medium to the 200 page notebook , where as a child I would spill my heart out.

My personal diary was like the best friend I never had but always craved for. School, I must admit was one of the darkest chapters of my life.I guess I just never "fitted in". The diary,was a place where I could express my anger and anguish. I have grown up reading stories like Malory towers, where I was introduced to the concept of personal diaries. I remember going to these card and stationary shops and staring at the pretty personal diaries with locks. How I wished for one !

But there was always an alternative for your cravings in life. I found that in a spare 200 page notebook amongst my school notebooks. I remember sitting down and covering it .. a blue page torn from one of those large wall calenders. I guess when we are in school we tend to enjoy art.. I remember using sand and glitter along with an image of a little girl ( or something like that..) taken from an old card to decorate it.

Ever night before I slept..I would pen down my frustrations and joys..they might appear trivial now but then they were the basics of my life. Writing and hiding the diary so that my mother and sister wouldn't find out about it ( I guess now they will come to know..!) were moments which bought the required "lift" to my life. But as I grew , I discovered something which would not only listen to my worries but would also console me..She was always there.. I just failed to realise..my mom !!

That saw the end of my so called personal diary. Now I am away from home and do go through moments which remind me of school.. I feel the same despair ..I know my mother is just a phone call away.. but still..

Would this modernised personal diary be able to fill in the void ??

Inked childhood

Images : A scene from The Tailor of Gloucester,Cover of The First Term at Malory Towers by Enid Blyton and The first edition cover page of BFG (All images courtesy the web)

Fantasy, adventure, reality and hopes- These together could be summed up in one term we are all familiar with- BOOK . Books have been a quintessential aspect of my growing years and will always continue to be so. Each book brings with it a memory. The magical tales of Enid Blyton , Beatrix potter and her collection of adorable stories,Roald Dahl's different take to innocence would be what I would consider my top three children's books.

Enid Blyton and her magical tales have always had a special place in my life. For me it was and will always be the perfect example for fantasy in its most innocent form. Talking dolls, magical trees, bicycles , elves and fairies found place in her stories and also in my life.

It's very unfortunate that I have never seemed to have found any Beatrix Potter books in India.For me her stories of the mischievous Peter Rabbit, the scurry of Mice in my personal favourite "The tailor of Gloucester, "The tale of Jemima Peddle duck" , The misadventures in " Tale of Mr.Jeremy Fisher" still manage to bring a smile to my face even by the mere mention. The list is endless and so are the pleasures they bring.

The third on my list is Roald Dahl. When I think of Roald Dahl, the first book that comes to my mind is "BFG"- Dahl's tale of the " Big Friendly Giant" with the orphan Sophie. The BFG with his Snozzcucmber ( a vegetable you find him munching on most of the time),Dream blower and the shelves filled with dreams are something which I believe can be read and reread by anybody at any age.My other personal favourites have been Esio Trot , George's marvellous medicine, James and his giant peach , The magic finger , The giraffe and the Pelly and me , Charlie and the chocolate factory and so on. I have never been a big Fan of Matilda but would still place it in the list. If I were to name one book that I would advice everyone to read (NO MATTER HOW OLD YOU ARE)apart from BFG it would be Danny, the Champion of the world.The tale of Danny and his father would be what I would call a perfect mix of innocence and emotions.Definitely worth a read.

I could go on and on , I am still to talk about Karen Hesse's Out of the dust and many more. Such is the power of books...

Droplets of nostalgia

IT'S RAINING !!...These have been the golden words which could light up my day...the smell of wet mud, the feeling of getting drenched top to bottom, the sight of wet leaves..!

WOW!!The rainy season has always managed to bring back wonderful childhood memories.I can never forget how I would be eagerly awaiting the first rain and then would rush out. I would stand there till I was drenched. It was what I could call my few seconds of ecstasy.

Umbrellas in their varied colours were another great fascination. I can never forget the image of how it would look when I would be leaving from school on a rainy day. The ground would be filled with students with their colourful umbrellas and raincoats.

And the there was also those golden words written on the notice board or spoken by the office clerk when one would call on some days .." Holiday notice, school closed today "!I remember praying for heavy rains whenever we had loads of maths homework due or a Telugu test. (I was awful in Telugu but for three years I had to learn it.. and I can very proudly say that even now my Telugu is as awful as it was in school !!)

Coming back to the present..a gloom fills my mind when I think of the rain. Now what I once considered ecstasy is something I dread . Rain now brings to my mind the imagery of a dirty road, grey sky and a feeling of despair..

How things change in life!I had always heard that as you grow , things change and so does the way in which you look at things.Change is progress , but somehow this change has bought my life to a standstill. But then it is these memories that hold a special in your heart and whenever I am low , they manage to bring a smile to my face..Just like right now...!!

The need for a Dream Catcher

"Man is an ambitious animal".We have been told this time and again. We all have ambitions and goals.I too was nothing different.I always considered myself ambitious ... and there is no denying that-"YES,I was". Nothing short of a Ph.D..A career in the subject of my choice.. a good salary. I had my dreams in place, the passion,the determination to put in my 100% and face all hurdles with equal passion and I could proudly say that I was determined to achieve at least 50% of my ambitions..the whole dream of setting up a newspaper organisation by myself might be quite impractical. But apart from that I was definitely on the right track..But alas...

Over the last one year..something seems to be happening..is this a rare tropical disease or a sign of some upcoming danger..I somehow seem to have lost all ambitions in life..of course I still do have the dream of achieving a 90% Success rate in playing spider solitaire on my Laptop and of course watching all the movies that release..Not quite serious right?..what worries me the most right now is that
"Hey, I am just not worried anymore".

Am I losing my Identity, my dreams and ambitions ? Where is the future, where are the plans ? A constant fear has erupted in my sub conscience but is of no effect..It is not as though I haven't tried...I have and continue to do,yet..

I must ! Every night all I pray for is something magical..a dream catcher of saughts to help me bring back my scattered dreams and tread on the path I was once confidently walking down. Its time for me to rise again .. with more determination and passion then never before...after all its never too late!

Fire gobbling midgets ( Computer games) , romantic tales ( Movies), Top notch lawyers ( Books) and melodious tunes shall have to wait..It's time to bring MY life back into action!

{Image source : The Internet}

Print over Practicality

"Beta , I want you to be careful of your belongings, please keep your boarding pass and ticket out ... did you keep your photo ID?... please don't talk to strangers...". Like all mothers,my mom too has time and again made it a point to remind me about the basics of travelling alone. But,I guess in all this she forgot to mention one very important thing..to warn me about something more dangerous than the sly thief or nagging co passenger....The Airport Lounge Bookstore !!!

Every time I take a flight back Home or am returning to Bangalore where I study ,I am constantly rambling one sentence..." Anishaa you do not need a book, where is the time ?". But as they say " Mind is the master". " I can just look around,that doesn't cost a thing!". But who can save themselves from the calling of the printed matter.

Books- attractive covers, the smell of paper, intriguing titles,Interesting story lines..There is something magical about them , that I,who usually consider myself quite practical in most cases actually indulge myself in such pocket-pinching activities. The latest Amartya Sen Book, to a sweet and simple Nicholas Sparks novel to my all time favourite John Grisham's Legal twists and turns..who wouldn't go weak in the knees?OK,not everyone ...But still,I am sure there are many who would. It's like the beautiful dress draped on a mannequin at your favourite store..or the the elegant stilettos stacked in a Shoe shop..we all have our weak point and I guess for me its books.

Well I don't need to worry any more as I wont be going Home for another month .But Hey,how can I forget the Road side vendors and million Bookstores in every mall !! They are sure to catch up with me some time or the other...

All I can say is that I think its high time bookstore owners put a sign outside.." Beware...Enter at your own risk "!!;)

Image source - The internet